You don’t want to take me on on your own
With just my little finger
I’ll teach you a lesson, break your bones without messing
I’m a pure-breed ninja
So take your chance and quickly back down now
Cos you’re in mortal danger now
But I don’t want to, I don’t want to
I don’t want to be that guy

I don’t wanna be, anyone but me
There’s no-one that can compete with me
Come fight me, come fight me
I’m nothing usually, nothing much to see
But with a couple of pints in me
Come fight me, come fight me.

Closing time, it seems to me you’re starting something
Wanna finish it?
Choose your weapon and name the location
Bring your mates if they fancy it
Best inform your next of kin, write your will and hand it in
Eat your final meal
But I don’t want to, I don’t want to
I don’t want to be that guy

I don’t wanna be, anyone but me
There’s no-one that can compete with me
Come fight me, come fight me
I’m nothing usually, nothing much to see
But with a couple of pints in me
Come fight me, come fight me.

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Don’t wanna hear it cos it’s always the same
How everybody’s out to screw you
The paranoia likes to drive you insane
But you don’t like listening do you?
If you could see the things that I’ve seen
As the nightmare turns it to black
Turn off the mind’s eye, don’t know where it’s been
It’s a ten-tonne dog on your back

There’s a lot that I could teach you
But there’s not a lot for you to learn
There’s a lot of things that I could do
But I tell you now I won’t quit on you, not unless you do

Travel through the night to be at your side
Wish a little, know I never knew you
Kick and scream against a wall of regret
But the words on the bricks see right through you
I’ve downed, in every town
To feed a thirst that isn’t easy to feed
I get relief but it is really a thief
That can’t be stopped on account of its greed

There’s a lot that I could teach you
But there’s not a lot for you to learn
There’s a lot of things that I could do
But I tell you now I won’t quit on you, not unless you do

We sit in silence cos we’re deaf to the sound
Of the panic and the pain and the loss
I’m there for you like there was no-one for me
Now I’m just ticking every box with a cross
If you could see the things that I’ve seen
As the nightmare turns it to black
Turn off the mind’s eye, don’t know where it’s been
It’s a ten-tonne dog on your back

There’s a lot that I could teach you
But there’s not a lot for you to learn
There’s a lot of things that I could do
But I tell you now I won’t quit on you, not unless you do

You gone, the most, I’ll raise a toast
If it ends, then it ends.

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So we argued and fought all night
Cos we were both there but we couldn’t agree
I was certain she’d made up her mind
The problem was so was he
She was laughing and touching her hair
And according to the folks on TV
That means she fancied him, so I did the right thing
I backed away and let him in

So we all left on our own
So we all went home alone
No-one hooked up
No-one wins when we both do the right thing
Nothing ventured, nothing gained
Nothing savoured, nothing changed
No-one hooked up
No-one wins when we both do the right thing

No matter what he says it wasn’t like that
I remember it as clear as today
We were talking but I could tell she was bored
She smiled and nodded and kept glancing his way
She was laughing and touching her hair
And according to the folks on TV
That means she fancied him, so I did the right thing
I backed away and let him in

So we all left on our own
So we all went home alone
No-one hooked up
No-one wins when we both do the right thing
Nothing ventured, nothing gained
Nothing savoured, nothing changed
No-one hooked up
No-one wins when we both do the right thing

Punch punch punch a goat squarely in the face
RSPCA be damned, isn’t cruelty ace?

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Hear the panic on the streets
One guy has bombs in his shoes
Might as well chop off your feet
But now they can blow you up with shampoo

Prepare to watch out
Illusion of security
You better watch out
CCTV in use here
Prepare to watch out
Report suspicious characters
You better watch out
You’re kept in line through fear

You’re criminals, every last one
Need nothing trivial as proof
Just got to find out what you’ve done
Don’t let paranoia be derailed by the truth

Prepare to watch out
Expect the inquisition soon
You better watch out
There’s no way you can’t lose
Prepare to watch out
1984 is here at last
You better watch out
You’ll see it on the news

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Don’t worry ’bout an invite the guy’s a mate of mine
Buckle up, hold tight, we’ll see you at the party tonight
Left past the bridge, down the alleyway second right
Right down to the end and there you’ll find the party tonight
It’s dark down here, more dark down there
Round the corner, up the stairs if you’re looking for the party tonight
No-one there you know, but it’s where the cool people go
Get you through the door, you get seen at the party tonight

There’s hippies, skins and junkies
There’s yuppies, pimps and flunkies
There’s pornstars and a goatpuncher
There’s weasels, cults and jokers
There’s shysters and stockbrokers
There’s demons and that goatpuncher

Now that we’ve found the place, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be
Not liking the company, not sure about this party tonight
Wish we hadn’t come here, nothing feels right about it
Find a fucking loophole and let’s get out of this party tonight.

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By the time this has all sunk in I’ll probably wish I’d stayed
But right now you think the future’s so bright, and I want to get laid
It’s an accident of nature
It’s something in my genes
That stops them staying buttoned
If you know what I mean

(Chorus)
My DNA made me a bastard
I’m genetically flawed
Don’t get your hopes up, princess
I can’t help it, I can’t help it

We’ve been through this so many times you really should have learned
Chantilly lace, a pretty face and my head gets turned
You thought that if you loved me
I’d keep it in my pants
But thanks to this Y chromosome
You never stood a chance

(Chorus)
My DNA made me a bastard
I’m genetically flawed
Don’t get your hopes up, princess
I can’t help it, I can’t help it

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You moved down to the city with your band not long ago
You were signing to a label and were going to play some shows
Now someone’s back to visit and that someone isn’t you
But an arrogant impostor who doesn’t seem to have a clue
There’s a meanness in your manner, there’s contempt behind your eyes
And you’re speaking in an accent none of us can recognise
Looking down you nose as if you never even cared
You’re behaving like a wanker and what’s up with your hair?

Trade in your haircut for an independent lie

You’re acting like you’ve made it but you obviously haven’t yet
And your conversation’s all about the famous folks you’ve met,
How much you’ve spent on t-shirts, and your trainers and your flat
But the problem with your money is you’ve got to pay it back
And what then are you left with if all this suddenly ends?
A stupid fucking haircut and you’ve sold out all your friends
Behind the wall of affectation you must still have a heart
So I’m breaking out the clippers, help you remember who you are

Trade in your haircut for an independent lie

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For Day 1 click here

So, it’s 10am on Sunday and Tim, Matt and John are back in Moonbase with Jon the engineer, mapping out the day’s work. We’re finishing up the brass first, John is honing his lyrics to ‘Quit On You’, then Tom will be joining us later to get started on some vocals.

See the comments for updates…

Recording Thanks For Nothing (Day 2)

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For Day 2 click here

 We’re in Moonbase, recording the album which is tentatively titled ‘Thanks For Nothing’. We’ve got a pretty punishing schedule - 10 songs to get through in one weekend, but so far it’s going pretty well. We’ve got guitar, bass and drums down on Goatpuncher, The Right Way To Do Things Wrongly, Intro and they’re currently laying down a blistering version of Deathray. More updates in the comments as they happen, with some video as and when we work out how YouTube works.

Recording Thanks For Nothing

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It’s been a fun ride, but after six years (three in our current incarnation), Stupid, Stupid, Stupid And Steve are calling it a day. Real life, proper jobs and the race to cure cancer (seriously) have conspired against us and so the gig on the 9th February at Robbin’s Well with our Nottingham soul brothers Weeble will be our last.

We have just finished recording the album, tentatively titled ‘Thanks For Nothing’, at Moonbase Studios in Coventry (Click here for as-they-happened updates). It will be available for preorder at the gig on the 9th and will probably be in our grubby little mitts by the end of February.

As ever, we’d like to thank all those people who’ve rocked, partied and shared fluids with us over the years. See you down the front!!

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