I don’t know what he’s saying
Or if what he’s saying is true
But if it isn’t true then why should I believe him
I don’t know what he’s thinking
Has he thought this through
And if he hasn’t done then why should I listen to him?

Well here he comes again
No matter what he says
Because no-one give a shit about what he says
And even when he’s talking
People still stop and stare
Because he’s whingeing how his life’s unfair

And now he’s stranded at the bar
He says he’s lost and now he’s stranded at the bar

I don’t know what he’s saying
Or if what he’s saying is true
But if it isn’t true then why should I believe him
I don’t know what he’s thinking
Has he thought this through
And if he hasn’t done then why should I listen to him?

Well there he goes again
Not thinking what he says
Because no-one give a shit about what he says
And even when he’s talking
People still stop and stare
Because he’s whingeing how his life’s unfair

And now he’s stranded at the bar
He says he’s lost and now he’s stranded at the bar

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Barry sits alone again
The table’s bled him dry.
The man opposite’s got all his money
And he can’t remember why.
Looks down at his five-card hand
And tries to play it cool,
But in his heart of hearts he knows
They played him for a fool.

He jumps up and he grabs the cash,
He’s heading straight for the door.
He makes it halfway down the street
Before he hits the floor.
The other players pile on
And punches start to fly,
The cash falls from his bloodied hands
He thinks he’s gonna die.

Runs away, runs away, runs away.

Barry’s back again next week,
Some people never learn
But in his heart of hearts he knows
This week is his turn.
A smile creeps across his lips
As they cut the pack -
He’s got two aces up his sleeve
And a gun behind his back.

He jumps up from the table
There’s a glimmer in his eye
“You’ve fucked me one too many times
And now you’re going to die!”
Pulls out his gun and takes aim,
“You fuckers make me sick!”
But when he pulls the trigger
All he hears is ‘click’.

Runs away, runs away, runs away.

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We’ve had this conversation and I’ve told you what I think
So can we change the subject or at least let’s get another drink
I know misery loves company but why’d the company have to be mine?
That’s an evening of my life I’ve lost listening to you whine

No need to get it off your chest if you can get off your tits
It’s not bottling it up if there’s a bottle to hit
I know they say that it’s good to talk
But your story’s too long and my life is too short

We’ve had this conversation, in fact I think we’ve had it twice
So get another round in if you’re going to ignore my advice
A problem shared’s a problem halved, why’d you have to share it with me?
I don’t want half your problems and I’d rather not be here

No need to get it off your chest if you can get off your tits
It’s not bottling it up if there’s a bottle to hit
I know they say that it’s good to talk
But your story’s too long and my life is too short

The barman’s called last orders and you haven’t paused for breath
And I’m tryng to drown your sorrows before you bore them all to death
A friend in need’s a friend indeed and you’re in need of a slap
So grow up and stop wallowing in this self-indulgent crap

No need to get it off your chest if you can get off your tits
It’s not bottling it up if there’s a bottle to hit
Better go on a bender than be bending my ear
But if you’re twisting my arm then you can lend me a beer
Don’t need a shoulder to cry on when you can prop up some bars
You’ll see much more clearly through the bottom of a glass
I know they say that it’s good to talk
But your story’s too long and my life is too short

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Repeating back what you said
Tell us what somebody else said
You opinion means nothing to me, you see.
You seem to have nothing to say,
Yet you say it anyway.
Why can’t you just fuck off and let us be?

Well, if you’re going to bitch and whine
About every single rhyme
Why don’t you fuck off before we play?
Cos we’re coming back stronger,
These rhymes don’t get no wronger.
We’re never going to move, we’re never going to go away.

You threw it all against us,
We bounced back from every fall.
We gave it everything we’ve got
And still we’re standing tall.
So proudly we’ll keep going now
And still we’ll raise a call.
Sticks and stones break my bones
But we’ll come through it all

Your tired rules are getting old
Don’t just repeat what you’ve been told;
Received wisdom is of no use to me.
Recycling someone else’s lines
Til that someone changes their mind
You’re just a sheep, it’s plain for all to see.

Well, if you’re going to bitch and whine
About every single rhyme
Why don’t you fuck off before we play?
Cos we’re coming back stronger,
These rhymes don’t get no wronger.
We’re never going to move, we’re never going to go away.

You threw it all against us,
We bounced back from every fall.
We gave it everything we’ve got
And still we’re standing tall.
So proudly we’ll keep going now
And still we’ll raise a call.
Sticks and stones break my bones
But we’ve come through it all

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Wake up, feel sick, turn on the light.
There’s someone in the bathroom,
What did I do last night?
Remember going out, don’t remember getting home,
Now I’m naked and hungover
And I’m not alone
She’s no idea quite where she is,
Knows where she went out to
But not who she left with.
It’s fair to say we’re both a mess
So we make a cup of coffee
And we retrace our steps

Yeah, we’ve gone too far,
We’ve gone too far.

She calls her friends, I text my mates,
They say they lost us just after half eight.
After that, it’s all a blur
Remember bits and pieces
Just not where we were.
Pull on our clothes, I do my hair.
A wad of money in my pocket -
How did it get there?
I’ve got the keys to some flash car
And she’s got handfuls of diamonds
Stuffed inside her bra.

Yeah, we’ve gone too far,
We’ve gone too far.

It comes back to us in a flash,
We robbed a chip shop for the cash.
Keep it quiet, we’re on the run
With a banana for a gun.
Looked for something else to steal
But she couldn’t run in heels,
So we took some yuppie’s car
And ramraided a jeweller.
Screech of tyres and we’re away,
Live to drink another day.
Had a moment of regret
Then realised they’ve not caught us yet.
When we made it back to mine
We booked some first class flights online
Gonna leave this town for good
We’re heading for Hollywood!

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I want to tell you how much I love you
But there’s no-one to tell me I’m not to
Oh, what should I do?
I’ll go down the pub and I’ll have a small drink
It helps me relax, I don’t have to think
I don’t have to think

Vodka, Whisky, Beer and Cider
Then I know I’m fucking wasted.
Jack Daniel’s, Campari Soda
Then I know I’m fucking wasted.
Vodka, Whisky, Beer and Cider
Then I know I’m fucking wasted.
Jack Daniel’s, Campari Soda
Then I know I’m fucked.

Another drink and it all becomes clear
I’ll knock it back and get another beer
It’s all getting clear
Now I can tell you how much I love you
I’m drunk enough now, but I don’t want to
Don’t want to tell you.

Vodka, Whisky, Beer and Cider
Then I know I’m fucking wasted.
Jack Daniel’s, Campari Soda
Then I know I’m fucking wasted.
Vodka, Whisky, Beer and Cider
Then I know I’m fucking wasted.
Jack Daniel’s, Campari Soda
Then I know I’m fucked.

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